Gaslighting….
What is it? Why don’t we see it?
Have you ever wondered why we allow people to treat us badly and then foolishly we accept responsibility!
We feel guilty, feel shame and start to believe it is actually us and our fault, we even question our own sanity! We also doubt our own thoughts, feelings and beliefs! These are some the effects of ‘Gaslighting’, it can have a devastating effect on your mental health and well-being.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse, it is the act of psychological manipulation, it is emotional abuse. Your abuser will never take genuine responsibility for their behaviour.
Their behaviours are cunning, cruel and they mostly play the victim! It’s all about their needs, it’s about them wanting the power and control. It’s a game of cat and mouse and they thrive on this game!
Gaslighting happens in all types of relationships! But mainly in intimate ones. It isn’t love, it isn’t friendship, it is cruel and never acceptable.
It is also not gender or age specific, it can happen to anyone!
Some of us generally see the best in people, even when they treat us like ****! Often, we don’t see how bad it is, until it’s too late! We are then entangled in this abusive relationship. We may stay because we feel we have no choice or can literally see no way out. We feel stuck, confused and numb. We are lost and don’t even know ‘who we actually are’!
We may also believe that we can change them, help them and underneath it all they are inherently good. I know in my own past experiences I have followed my heart and not my head and ended up in a destructive relationship.
I lost my self worth, blamed myself. I stayed in this relationship for far too long.
Eventually, I walked away, I know who I am and I know my self worth, never again.
Trust me, if this is you and you are feeling like this - there is a way out, you can and will get there!
There are certain signs that may help you understand what is going on!
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/gaslighting
Talk to someone - you may not feel like it, but you are not alone!