Low Self-Esteem
So what does it mean when we have low Self-Esteem?
In essence, it means that we have a low opinion of ourselves! We don’t hold ourself in high regard. We lack confidence and are often extremely hard on ourselves, self-critical and lacking in self-worth. We may harshly and unjustly judge and scrutinise every aspect of ourselves and our lives, including constantly questioning our capabilities, our looks and also ourselves.
It’s perfectly normal to question ourselves, to have moments of doubts and not feel confident in situations that are new to us or are challenging. Hence, naturally, bouts of low self-esteem will affect us all. Yet, for some this becomes a constant array of negative feelings, in which their self-doubt and lack of self- worth will affect their day to day living.
Sounds awful eh!!! Yes it is, the effects of low self-esteem can be emotionally, physically and psychologically exhausting! It’s like constantly carrying a rucksack full of rocks and never being able to empty it.
That internal critic and judge goes on and on - telling us we are not good enough, we are useless - we can’t do it! It literally never shuts up!
Whist a lack of self-esteem itself is not classed as a mental health disorder, in more serious cases it can lead to mental health issues including depression and anxiety and OCD.
Why do we have low Self-Esteem?
So, why do we have low self-esteem? Often, childhood experiences such as the environment in which we were brought up, our experiences and interactions with family, friends and others all influence how we think and feel about ourselves. We know that adverse childhood experiences (negative experiences) such as abuse, bullying, trauma and childhood neglect have a damaging impact on our mental health and well-being. However, some of us may have had a happy or protective childhood, yet will still lack in confidence and self-worth.
There is no single reason.
What are some of the signs and symptoms of having low Self-Esteem?
Negative body image
Anger and hostility
People pleasing, not saying NO
Self harming behaviours
No confidence
Self hatred
Negative thinking
Depression
Anxiety
Socially withdrawn
Constant worry
Overly reactive to criticism
Lack of motivation
Negative, critical internal critic
Avoiding things, holding back
Not feeling good enough
What can you do?
If your self-esteem is not impacting heavily on your day to day living, there are some simple techniques you can do for yourself, in order to help you raise your self-esteem and self-belief. For example, we know the way we think and talk to ourselves impacts our mental health and emotional well-being.
So, we need to learn to be kinder to ourselves. If we recognise and value our strengths/positive attributes this will help to raise self-confidence and raise self-esteem. We can also be less hard on ourselves and acknowledge that we are going to make mistakes, it’s normal.
Please see our resources page for helpful tips and more information on raising self-esteem and valuing yourself more.
Click the link below.
However, if you are struggling, and you have spent a long time thinking and feeling negatively, it may be difficult to see a way out or even a way forwards. Yet, with the right help and support you can change how you think, and feel about yourself, raise your confidence and live the life you deserve. Therapy can help you to identify and to understand the origins of your low self-esteem as well as any other mental health issues you may be experiencing. Your counsellor - psychotherapist can work with you on building or rebuilding your confidence and self worth - remember you are never alone. Get in touch with us.
